A Critical Yet Underrated Job Search Skill

Being the bigger person during job search is an underrated skill.

Recruiters, hiring managers, companies f*ck up. It's simply a fact.

Sometimes those f*ckups are avoidable. That recruiter may just be garbage at their job. Other times the recruiters have also been ghosted by hiring managers, or in the worst of cases, let go themselves. While "no update updates" are relatively quick to fire off and should definitely be the norm, we do miss out. It's terrible, but hardly ever intentional.

There are definitely still occasions where we drop balls, desperately try to catch up without dropping more, and eventually burn ourselves out. For all the years I've been in this job, one thing I know FOR CERTAIN -

A different version of me exists in the minds of every person I've interacted with.

Some LOVE me. Some think I'm everything that's wrong with recruiting. Many many more have completely forgotten about me (and that's totally ok!)

Now - as a job seeker, a very common flex when something goes awry is to lash out on social media. You cannot scroll LinkedIn more than 2 minutes without running across a complaint about missed communication, poor interviewing practices, and the good old #BulletDodged hashtag - because obviously getting a rejection email after you applied to a role is the work of the devil and proof that recruiters are Satan's handmaids. Or something.

Please understand I GET IT. I've been there. I've laid on the floor and cried after being rejected from roles I JUST KNEW I could excel in.

Rejection sucks.

Blasting companies and people with one sided rants sucks too.

I do believe that feedback is important. I wish I could give INTERVIEW feedback, but I am absolutely happy to take feedback on myself, company processes, and anything else candidates want to provide. That information is definitely shared - we think about what we can improve, and we learn from our mistakes. Every piece of hate mail I get is an opportunity to do better.

Here's what happens when you randomly blast on LinkedIn - including those "supportive" comments.

EVERYONE SEES YOUR ACTIVITY

Recruiters, potential hiring managers, even possible colleagues who could refer you. Transparency and sharing fact based experiences can be a very good thing. I've always believed that sunlight is the best disinfectant. That said, I've ABSOLUTELY heard from hiring leaders and recruiters alike that they are not comfortable moving forward with folks because of their social media outbursts. Bragging about how you got a recruiter fired might feel good in the moment, but at what cost?

When sourcing for new talent, MANY recruiters use LinkedIn. Part of that initial screen is a quick look at our profile, which also immediately links to your activity. What does it say about you? Comments on a recent complaint post asking for the offending recruiter's contact info - "I just want to talk to them (evil grin)" were downright terrifying. Seriously, let's unpack this:

Person A has a bad experience, things escalate, and they share their side of the story on social media.

Persons B-X start piling on, everything from support for the OP, to dismay that a company could behave so badly (again, we have ONE side of the story) and finally calls for the recruiter's personal contact information so they could continue harassing them. Y'all. If I see that kind of engagement, I'm running as fast as I can in the other direction.

ATS NOTES ARE FOREVER

This is less about social media, and more about interaction directly with a company and its representatives. Did you know many companies have Outlook or G-Suite integrated with their ATS? That means every interaction via email with the recruiter is logged in your candidate record. Even when those recruiters are long gone, your communication remains. For anyone with the right level of access to read. What happens once the frustration has worn off? Or maybe you worked things out with the recruiter you yelled at? Oops. Your messaging lives forever. Future recruiters MIGHT think twice before reaching out. Hiring managers (depending on level of visibility / what the recruiter may share) could also be hesitant.

Oh and it's not just emails. One of the cringiest notes I've personally entered into an ATS went a little something like this:

Informed candidate we would not be making an offer. Candidate stated quote "you're a f*****g c**t. If I catch you in the parking lot I'm going to slit your f*****g throat" end quote. Informed RM (recruiting mgr) and notified security. Candidate profile marked DNC (do not contact). Please contact legal before engaging further.

You can't make this shit up.

Now this is obviously time stamped and shows up as a note left by me (ATSs automate that part). This was several years ago (I was an agency recruiter at the time) but it took months before I could laugh about it. I'm pretty confident we never sent that guy to any more clients after that... how do you think that looked to recruiters who came after? I'm willing to bet their first thought was not "Gee Amy must have been a REALLY BAD RECRUITER to deserve that!"

Right. Highly unlikely. And due to record retention rules, we can't delete any of that stuff.

BUT HOW DO WE FIX IT??

It's totally reasonable to complain about shitty processes and experiences. I've talked about the "broken hiring process" before, check out the video HERE. Instead of embarrassing yourself on LinkedIn, consider this instead:

Provide fact based, actionable feedback.

This could be an email to the recruiter, scheduler, or any other contact you have at the company. Keep it factual, with dates/times and verifiable statements. Getting emotional, name calling, or otherwise acting out puts the focus back on YOU when it should be on what went wrong with the PROCESS. This is assuming you had a clear idea of the timeline and previous attempts to reconnect were not acknowledged. Here's an example:

"Hi Contact,

Following up one last time about my interview on (date). Based on our initial discussion(s), I anticipated closure on my candidacy by (date). Since we have not connected, I assume I am no longer under consideration for (role). I am grateful for the opportunity, but disappointed things didn't work out. I'd like to share some feedback about my experience, and would welcome any updates or feedback from you.

The scheduling process was very smooth - I appreciate (scheduler's) responsiveness and flexibility. I also really enjoyed the technical demonstration at the end! (Final interviewer) was great and answered all my questions.

Unfortunately, there were some downsides. During my hour with (2nd interviewer) I was asked a question that I admittedly stumbled over. I was caught off guard when (interviewer) laughed at my response, and stated "you know that's a terrible answer, right?". I wasn't really able to shake the awkwardness of that exchange, and I worry that I didn't perform well in later interviews due in part to that interaction.

I hope you'll accept this in the spirit intended - an honest assessment of my candidate experience, and an opportunity for coaching internally. I would be happy to share more specifics, and want to again reiterate my time with (final interviewer) was the highlight of the entire process. Feel free to contact me if you want to discuss further. (Organization) is doing some amazing things, and this is undoubtedly a wonderful opportunity for the right candidate. I wish you the best in your search.

Best,

Me

Funny thing about that email - it's an absolute true story and the exact email I sent to a recruiting manager who ghosted me years ago. This was after one phone call (message left) and one follow up email. My third and final attempt to get closure.

I was treated HORRIBLY by a very well known organization. I've shared the specifics with close friends including recruiters who work at this company. By all accounts, I am absolutely a "potential lead" in their ATS and have NOT been blacklisted. Of course I'd rather chew glass than entertain working with some of those people. Still - companies evolve, people move on, and I'm not one to burn bridges unnecessarily.

Unnecessarily being the key word there.

I could have taken this to LinkedIn, made a viral post, and also made myself radioactive to any future recruiter or recruiting leader at the company. Might have felt good in the moment, but long after the offender moved on (and they have... I check often) the damage would likely have been done.

Of course I never heard back from the person I sent this email to - they moved on as well. Did anything come from it? I don't know. I definitely felt better getting it off my chest in an appropriate, not career damaging way.

And I definitely still shit talk this with my closest friends.